I came across an post made by a girl regarding her coworker
"Sometimes I think people need to mind their own business. Live and let live without fucking others over. My co-workers snitched on me. I called in sick yesterday because I was out too late and felt like crap in the morning. One of them told my supervisor that I was out partying last night so it's probably why I didn't come in. It's a new job so obviously they don't know me well enough to know it's not something I do regularly"
Not to advocate for taking days off if you've been partying all night the evening before but once in awhile it's necessary to take some time off. It's only natural - and we should not have to feel guilty about it.
And actually...her post reminded me about one of the biggest eye-opening lessons that I've learned in the past 2 years:
Never trust your coworkers 100%.
(Of course, there are always exceptions, rare rare exceptions at that)
Now before I am regarded as someone with bitter cynical views...which I probably do regarding certain matters, let me explain as concisely as possible.
Most workplace environments innately carry a lot of political drama because of competition. It's a place where everyone is trying to "shine" and display themselves as being worthy of moving up. So when there is a question of interest, theirs will always come first. Naturally. If an opportunity presents itself where they can shine..even if it meant muddying up your own shine, well, don't assume that they are "too good of a person" or that "you two are too good of friends" as to not take advantage of such opportunities. Suddenly that person you thought was "alright" and whom you were buddybuddy with has done the unthinkable and unhesitantly ratted you out. They are absolutely under no obligation to keep your information confidential - no, not even morally. So think twice before you decide to follow through with this because the saying "Keep private matters out of the workplace" is there for a good reason.
And you know what? Management loves this. LOVES! Why? This type of behavior is generally encouraged because this carries a great deal of benefits.
A) People become more competitive, thus motivating others who of course don't want to appear to be any lesser in which case, performance reviews/promotions/job security in general may be jeopardized. Duh.
B) The gloves come off and the claws come out, which means that management gets the juicy details about what's going on behind the curtains. Everything from personal life stories to the veritable "who was to blame" for whatever assignment as gone astray or missed a deadline for whatever reason. Most people wouldn't really hesitate to share others' information with management if they are trying to establish a 'hey, i'm trustworthy" connection with the manager whose words in the next review could result in a promotion? So don't be surprised by a convenient excuse this later on such as a "What could I do? How could I lie to them! I can't lie to the manager."
Be weary of people who engage in small talk and particularly the subtle manipulative ways in which they try to whittle the information out of you without disclosing their own. An analogy of this would be that you are playing poker yourself, a colleague, and a manager and the colleague is basically trying to figure out your cards without disclosing their own of course. It gives them more leverage over you in the game. Similarly, within a workplace environment. Simple as that.
This probably seems like common sense, but it's amazing at how frequently this occurs and how frequently people unsuspectingly fall victim to these basic dynamics within a workplace. Admittedly, as someone with high expections, idealistic optimistic outlook, and moral inclinations, I myself have not only beared witness to these, but I have also been unpleasantly surprised by the revelation of a coworkers' true character. Don't get me wrong or become overly paranoid about "everyone's out to get you" because of course, there are exceptions but to be safe, its best that you wait and get to know your coworkers real well before you disclose much else. Just be as well balanced as you can possibly be to remain as a professional.
As for my personal experiences in the past few years...well, let's just say that I'm glad I came to learn about the true characters of some the people I at one point highly valued as coworkers but it has not completely shattered my faith in people strangely enough. I was so impressed by the facade they created and carried for over a year that I worked with them. Here's a summary of what happened - which I'm going to give a fair warning about because it probably isn't going to be as short and concise as I would like it to be :P:
Intense Lessons with Business Matters (so far)
After graduating college, I was amongst the first 4 to join a startup in its very early stage. I was the only designer within the US office at that point, very determined and eager to get the job done and very friendly to my colleagues with genuine interest in supporting them and nurturing them. The CEO was an Indian fellow with more than just a highly abrasive personality...he was the kind who felt he was above the law and could get away with conducting unethical business even if it meant he had to do something illegal - and believe me, I am not exaggerating... Charging clients' credit cards without authorization from the client, not delivering what was promised to the clients within the contract, not answering to clients when they needed answers as to why their project deliverables are 2 months late (something that he went behind my back and instructed the oversea development teams to purposefully delay the deliverables past the expected deadline), etc.
Though my own job was not ever threatened, I had a nice office, a regular paycheck, a position of many responsibilities which developed into a management level position over time, most people probably would think that it should have been enough and what more can anyone ask for? However, I could not stand the fact that I was supporting a business run by a guy like him who felt it was fine to exploit not only employees, but clients as well. I could not put my own personal reputation at risk as a professional by being involved with him or that company, and I simply could not be happy with myself knowing that I supported a guy like that.
But could I leave my clients and colleagues hanging in that situation and just go escape into another job? Was it possible that this would change later? These were complex questions, and of course, I was not going to leave clients hanging with their projects unfinished, nor was I going to bail on my colleagues. Who else would keep junk food always stocked in their office or bring a box of warm gooey chocolate cookies fresh from the oven when everyone was stressed? Not to mention my personal attachment to the company which I helped build which reminded me of my own dreams from early college years to start a design oriented business based within the US and India so of course I grabbed at the opportunity to experience something similar when it presented itself to me after I graduated. I ultimately decided to stick around for a few more months to see if things improved before I made my final decision.
Let me paint a quick picture as to just one of the many ways he was exploiting his employees: During the final 7 months that I was working there, no one from the sales team of 15 people had received any checks for the commissions that they worked hard to earn and were making do with a measly base salary nowhere suited for the living costs within the Bay Area. Finally it came to a point where they were even denied a copy of their commission statements even if they personally requested it, let alone a check and this led many to leave of course. The CEO didn't mind because he saw this revolving door as a means of saving money. He could hire new people and invest the time in training them. So what?
Finally, myself and some of the former colleagues who were sales people became involved in a separate business venture led by a guy, P, who everyone including myself thought very highly of. P was one of the original 4 employees during the early phases and he was the contrasting nice supportive generous friendly trustworthy manager to the CEO's abrasive bad cop image. We formed what we all had thought to be a great concept that we wanted to pursue where we finally had the power to do things the "right way" and exceed the expectations of our clients. P had given everyone the impression that VC funds were in place, which later was changed to "on the way". As our own fault for having over trusted him, we did not question what he said and were not more demanding about the officialized paperwork which we were told was being created by an attorney. He opened a business account under his own name and only he had access to this. Keep this in mind, because it applies in what's to follow.
Many of the well-performing sales people left the former company to join this venture thinking that this was their opportunity to do good ethical business which was going to proove to be more profitable to them, and of course, where they would not be treated unethically. Some of these sales people were well in their 40s, had families, and almost everyone had no one else to support them. I myself trusted P a lot and was so determined to make this venture materialize into a profitable business that even though the VC funds were still not yet in place. Since I was the only designer again, and the only individual with a regular paycheck, I let P know that if my regular salary paycheck was late by a bit in order to make sure other business overhead costs were covered, then I would be alright with that and that he could pay me a bit later. Big mistake. 1 missed paycheck turned into 5 and 2 of which had been deposited into my account by P himself...but bounced and risked complicating my own personal relationship with my bank.
The first time the paycheck P deposited into my account showed up in my account 2 days later, but then the disappeared my account after another 3 days. I was confused as to what just happened, what did it mean, why didn't the check clear the way it was supposed . I inquired P, who just told me not to worry and reassured me that there had been enough funds in the business account so he had no idea why the check was not clearing. 2 weeks later when the bank reprocessed the check and it still did not clear, it was confirmed that there had not been sufficient funds in the account and P profusely apologized saying that somehow someone else's check that he deposited into his account had given a faulty impression that there were enough funds in the business account, that it was his fault for not being more attentive, and it would never happen again.
My bank has a policy where it if a check bounces the first time, then it will rerun the check 8 days later giving their clients little to no power to cancel it. After the 8 days have passed, if the check still bounces, then they charge you the amount of the check along with a fee. It also doesn't reflect very well on credit, but anyway....I managed to talk to my bank and have them waive this after explaining what happened. I also let P know that I would prefer if he could give me the money in cash as opposed to depositing a check. The second time this occured was when he blatantly ignored this request and deposited yet another check which bounced. Then shortly after this happened, he went absolutely missing. It was as if he literally had dropped out of the face of the planet. Suddenly he was not taking or returning anyone's calls, he was not replying to emails, and literally left people who had been involved in this venture hanging. People who valued him and trusted him greatly after having worked over a year with him.
This all occurred earlier this year in a time when the economy was not doing so well, and still isn't...which meant that finding a job shortly after this incident. Moreover, the sales industry in the US is not reliable or even ethical these days as people tend to take advantage of the sales people by not offering an adequate base salary, and then despite initially statint that the sales people would earn 10-15% of the sale made as commissions, they would proceed to cap the commission after it went past a particular numeric amount so sales people don't even get paid the full amount of what was rightfully their commission. The sales industry also is not kind to people in their 40s despite the level of experience they have and often prefers to hire young right out of college graduates whom they keep around for 2-3 years, then lay off, and repeat.
As if this disappointing turn of events wasn't enough, another 2 people who were design and business directors hired after me in the former company both of whom had suddenly resigned without a warning (before I left the former company) in order to work on a private venture by themselves seemed to have trouble earning sales.
Despite knowing what had transpired at the former company along with this suddenly failed business venture with the sales people who were now in dire need of a job with a steady paycheck to support themselves, these two former directors incessantly tried any/every line and trick they had to convince some of the sales people to join their own venture. Of course, no base salary or paycheck, unless they made a sale. The sales people did speak to them, as they had limited, and even explained very politely why they could not take a job without a steady paycheck, but this did not hinder these two. After discovering the fact that I had remained in pretty solid touch with some of the high performer sales people along with a few individuals from the oversea teams in India, they began to aggressively use other tactics to try to get myself involved or where they were suddenly trying to help me find a position at reputable company. Of course, I realized that their aggressiveness to suddenly be "generous Mother Teresa" obviously had an underlying selfish motive and probably wanted to use me as a means to convince the others to join.
All of these events took place within a matter of 2-3 months and were a very rude, but necessary awakening. Fortunately, any clients made in the failed venture were taken care of personally by myself and 2 of the sales people involved and the brighter side of the situation is that the disappointment occurred so early else it would have have been detrimental to our own personal reputations. Another bright side was that it taught me many many lessons which will serve me for years to come in my future endeavors. Lessons on how different people can be in character from what you perceive of them initially, and of course, in how to conduct legit ethical business where compromises should not be made. Never assume that your trusting well intentioned actions that you take on good faith will be met in the same way because they probably won't. Verbal agreements are not sufficient, and if they really care about you as much as you care about them, then they will not mind making the extra bit of effort in making sure EVERYTHING is documented on paper for that nice professional official touch.
So clearly as expected, my summary wasn't as short as I had hoped it would be but leaving out the details would have made it incomplete and I truly hope these words help someone make better decisions professionally without having to go through similar unpleasant surprises later down the line.
As for the failed business venture, once I have secured a stable job and regained my financial stability, I am more determined than ever to reapproach it myself with support from a few of the colleagues who kindly supported me during the tough times just as I did my best to support them.
"Sometimes I think people need to mind their own business. Live and let live without fucking others over. My co-workers snitched on me. I called in sick yesterday because I was out too late and felt like crap in the morning. One of them told my supervisor that I was out partying last night so it's probably why I didn't come in. It's a new job so obviously they don't know me well enough to know it's not something I do regularly"
Not to advocate for taking days off if you've been partying all night the evening before but once in awhile it's necessary to take some time off. It's only natural - and we should not have to feel guilty about it.
And actually...her post reminded me about one of the biggest eye-opening lessons that I've learned in the past 2 years:
(Of course, there are always exceptions, rare rare exceptions at that)
Now before I am regarded as someone with bitter cynical views...which I probably do regarding certain matters, let me explain as concisely as possible.
Most workplace environments innately carry a lot of political drama because of competition. It's a place where everyone is trying to "shine" and display themselves as being worthy of moving up. So when there is a question of interest, theirs will always come first. Naturally. If an opportunity presents itself where they can shine..even if it meant muddying up your own shine, well, don't assume that they are "too good of a person" or that "you two are too good of friends" as to not take advantage of such opportunities. Suddenly that person you thought was "alright" and whom you were buddybuddy with has done the unthinkable and unhesitantly ratted you out. They are absolutely under no obligation to keep your information confidential - no, not even morally. So think twice before you decide to follow through with this because the saying "Keep private matters out of the workplace" is there for a good reason.
And you know what? Management loves this. LOVES! Why? This type of behavior is generally encouraged because this carries a great deal of benefits.
A) People become more competitive, thus motivating others who of course don't want to appear to be any lesser in which case, performance reviews/promotions/job security in general may be jeopardized. Duh.
B) The gloves come off and the claws come out, which means that management gets the juicy details about what's going on behind the curtains. Everything from personal life stories to the veritable "who was to blame" for whatever assignment as gone astray or missed a deadline for whatever reason. Most people wouldn't really hesitate to share others' information with management if they are trying to establish a 'hey, i'm trustworthy" connection with the manager whose words in the next review could result in a promotion? So don't be surprised by a convenient excuse this later on such as a "What could I do? How could I lie to them! I can't lie to the manager."
Be weary of people who engage in small talk and particularly the subtle manipulative ways in which they try to whittle the information out of you without disclosing their own. An analogy of this would be that you are playing poker yourself, a colleague, and a manager and the colleague is basically trying to figure out your cards without disclosing their own of course. It gives them more leverage over you in the game. Similarly, within a workplace environment. Simple as that.
This probably seems like common sense, but it's amazing at how frequently this occurs and how frequently people unsuspectingly fall victim to these basic dynamics within a workplace. Admittedly, as someone with high expections, idealistic optimistic outlook, and moral inclinations, I myself have not only beared witness to these, but I have also been unpleasantly surprised by the revelation of a coworkers' true character. Don't get me wrong or become overly paranoid about "everyone's out to get you" because of course, there are exceptions but to be safe, its best that you wait and get to know your coworkers real well before you disclose much else. Just be as well balanced as you can possibly be to remain as a professional.
As for my personal experiences in the past few years...well, let's just say that I'm glad I came to learn about the true characters of some the people I at one point highly valued as coworkers but it has not completely shattered my faith in people strangely enough. I was so impressed by the facade they created and carried for over a year that I worked with them. Here's a summary of what happened - which I'm going to give a fair warning about because it probably isn't going to be as short and concise as I would like it to be :P:
Intense Lessons with Business Matters (so far)
After graduating college, I was amongst the first 4 to join a startup in its very early stage. I was the only designer within the US office at that point, very determined and eager to get the job done and very friendly to my colleagues with genuine interest in supporting them and nurturing them. The CEO was an Indian fellow with more than just a highly abrasive personality...he was the kind who felt he was above the law and could get away with conducting unethical business even if it meant he had to do something illegal - and believe me, I am not exaggerating... Charging clients' credit cards without authorization from the client, not delivering what was promised to the clients within the contract, not answering to clients when they needed answers as to why their project deliverables are 2 months late (something that he went behind my back and instructed the oversea development teams to purposefully delay the deliverables past the expected deadline), etc.
Though my own job was not ever threatened, I had a nice office, a regular paycheck, a position of many responsibilities which developed into a management level position over time, most people probably would think that it should have been enough and what more can anyone ask for? However, I could not stand the fact that I was supporting a business run by a guy like him who felt it was fine to exploit not only employees, but clients as well. I could not put my own personal reputation at risk as a professional by being involved with him or that company, and I simply could not be happy with myself knowing that I supported a guy like that.
But could I leave my clients and colleagues hanging in that situation and just go escape into another job? Was it possible that this would change later? These were complex questions, and of course, I was not going to leave clients hanging with their projects unfinished, nor was I going to bail on my colleagues. Who else would keep junk food always stocked in their office or bring a box of warm gooey chocolate cookies fresh from the oven when everyone was stressed? Not to mention my personal attachment to the company which I helped build which reminded me of my own dreams from early college years to start a design oriented business based within the US and India so of course I grabbed at the opportunity to experience something similar when it presented itself to me after I graduated. I ultimately decided to stick around for a few more months to see if things improved before I made my final decision.
Let me paint a quick picture as to just one of the many ways he was exploiting his employees: During the final 7 months that I was working there, no one from the sales team of 15 people had received any checks for the commissions that they worked hard to earn and were making do with a measly base salary nowhere suited for the living costs within the Bay Area. Finally it came to a point where they were even denied a copy of their commission statements even if they personally requested it, let alone a check and this led many to leave of course. The CEO didn't mind because he saw this revolving door as a means of saving money. He could hire new people and invest the time in training them. So what?
Finally, myself and some of the former colleagues who were sales people became involved in a separate business venture led by a guy, P, who everyone including myself thought very highly of. P was one of the original 4 employees during the early phases and he was the contrasting nice supportive generous friendly trustworthy manager to the CEO's abrasive bad cop image. We formed what we all had thought to be a great concept that we wanted to pursue where we finally had the power to do things the "right way" and exceed the expectations of our clients. P had given everyone the impression that VC funds were in place, which later was changed to "on the way". As our own fault for having over trusted him, we did not question what he said and were not more demanding about the officialized paperwork which we were told was being created by an attorney. He opened a business account under his own name and only he had access to this. Keep this in mind, because it applies in what's to follow.
Many of the well-performing sales people left the former company to join this venture thinking that this was their opportunity to do good ethical business which was going to proove to be more profitable to them, and of course, where they would not be treated unethically. Some of these sales people were well in their 40s, had families, and almost everyone had no one else to support them. I myself trusted P a lot and was so determined to make this venture materialize into a profitable business that even though the VC funds were still not yet in place. Since I was the only designer again, and the only individual with a regular paycheck, I let P know that if my regular salary paycheck was late by a bit in order to make sure other business overhead costs were covered, then I would be alright with that and that he could pay me a bit later. Big mistake. 1 missed paycheck turned into 5 and 2 of which had been deposited into my account by P himself...but bounced and risked complicating my own personal relationship with my bank.
The first time the paycheck P deposited into my account showed up in my account 2 days later, but then the disappeared my account after another 3 days. I was confused as to what just happened, what did it mean, why didn't the check clear the way it was supposed . I inquired P, who just told me not to worry and reassured me that there had been enough funds in the business account so he had no idea why the check was not clearing. 2 weeks later when the bank reprocessed the check and it still did not clear, it was confirmed that there had not been sufficient funds in the account and P profusely apologized saying that somehow someone else's check that he deposited into his account had given a faulty impression that there were enough funds in the business account, that it was his fault for not being more attentive, and it would never happen again.
My bank has a policy where it if a check bounces the first time, then it will rerun the check 8 days later giving their clients little to no power to cancel it. After the 8 days have passed, if the check still bounces, then they charge you the amount of the check along with a fee. It also doesn't reflect very well on credit, but anyway....I managed to talk to my bank and have them waive this after explaining what happened. I also let P know that I would prefer if he could give me the money in cash as opposed to depositing a check. The second time this occured was when he blatantly ignored this request and deposited yet another check which bounced. Then shortly after this happened, he went absolutely missing. It was as if he literally had dropped out of the face of the planet. Suddenly he was not taking or returning anyone's calls, he was not replying to emails, and literally left people who had been involved in this venture hanging. People who valued him and trusted him greatly after having worked over a year with him.
This all occurred earlier this year in a time when the economy was not doing so well, and still isn't...which meant that finding a job shortly after this incident. Moreover, the sales industry in the US is not reliable or even ethical these days as people tend to take advantage of the sales people by not offering an adequate base salary, and then despite initially statint that the sales people would earn 10-15% of the sale made as commissions, they would proceed to cap the commission after it went past a particular numeric amount so sales people don't even get paid the full amount of what was rightfully their commission. The sales industry also is not kind to people in their 40s despite the level of experience they have and often prefers to hire young right out of college graduates whom they keep around for 2-3 years, then lay off, and repeat.
As if this disappointing turn of events wasn't enough, another 2 people who were design and business directors hired after me in the former company both of whom had suddenly resigned without a warning (before I left the former company) in order to work on a private venture by themselves seemed to have trouble earning sales.
Despite knowing what had transpired at the former company along with this suddenly failed business venture with the sales people who were now in dire need of a job with a steady paycheck to support themselves, these two former directors incessantly tried any/every line and trick they had to convince some of the sales people to join their own venture. Of course, no base salary or paycheck, unless they made a sale. The sales people did speak to them, as they had limited, and even explained very politely why they could not take a job without a steady paycheck, but this did not hinder these two. After discovering the fact that I had remained in pretty solid touch with some of the high performer sales people along with a few individuals from the oversea teams in India, they began to aggressively use other tactics to try to get myself involved or where they were suddenly trying to help me find a position at reputable company. Of course, I realized that their aggressiveness to suddenly be "generous Mother Teresa" obviously had an underlying selfish motive and probably wanted to use me as a means to convince the others to join.
All of these events took place within a matter of 2-3 months and were a very rude, but necessary awakening. Fortunately, any clients made in the failed venture were taken care of personally by myself and 2 of the sales people involved and the brighter side of the situation is that the disappointment occurred so early else it would have have been detrimental to our own personal reputations. Another bright side was that it taught me many many lessons which will serve me for years to come in my future endeavors. Lessons on how different people can be in character from what you perceive of them initially, and of course, in how to conduct legit ethical business where compromises should not be made. Never assume that your trusting well intentioned actions that you take on good faith will be met in the same way because they probably won't. Verbal agreements are not sufficient, and if they really care about you as much as you care about them, then they will not mind making the extra bit of effort in making sure EVERYTHING is documented on paper for that nice professional official touch.
So clearly as expected, my summary wasn't as short as I had hoped it would be but leaving out the details would have made it incomplete and I truly hope these words help someone make better decisions professionally without having to go through similar unpleasant surprises later down the line.
As for the failed business venture, once I have secured a stable job and regained my financial stability, I am more determined than ever to reapproach it myself with support from a few of the colleagues who kindly supported me during the tough times just as I did my best to support them.
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