Alright, I've been meaning to spill a few words of thought regarding this subject and just for clarification, the 'Electronic Leashes' I'm talking about doesn't have anything to do with dogs or cats. It has to do with humans.
The devices I'm referring to are any piece of electronic equipment which can be used for communication purposes. This means, emails, sms, texts, cell phones, pagers, social networks online, etc.
Not only do most people (family, friends, colleagues, business, other organizations) expect you to have one or more of the devices listed above, but you are expected to be constantly accessible. The ways in which these devices have transformed our world is staggering, and not just in the best of ways. Nowadays, if you just want to have your own space and not have to deal with each and every one trying to reach you, people go as far as guilt-tripping you and expecting you to back up your selected unavailability with an excuse. We also have the persistent aggressive people who will not readily accept the fact that you are not taking their call, and then persistently try to repeatedly reach you through the means of one or more of these electronic leashes.
Our modern day society has unquestionably embraced this unhealthy level of communication as a standard where certain regions are now having to enforce laws to limit using certain communication devices whilst being engaged with certain activities. The concept of 'privacy' is barely acknowledged - definitely not quite what it used to be.
Let's not forget what happens if you decide to miss a few calls. You will have a list of missed calls and a pile of voicemail to sift through of people expecting a call back on top of the currently incoming ones. Now I won't try to denounce 'etiquittes' of returning peoples' calls, but yea, aren't the expectations a bit too high here? Don't even try to answer with 'oh, but a 5 minute call wouldn't have hurt' - because you know what? You take that and multiply it by all the people who will try to connect to you - and suddenly, there is an endless cue of '5 minute calls' Should someone really become so offended if someone forgot to ring you back from time to time? Does that really have to be necessarily interpreted as you or your time not being as valuable?
The domineering factor of these excessively used noxious devices is overwhelming considering the phenomenal level of expectancy for one to be available. People are failing to realize that just because someone has one or more ways to be reached, it DOES NOT oblige one to have to respond to each and every incoming piece of correspondence.
Here are a few excerpts from one person's attempts in the last month. This persons happens to be a nice guy friend, too. It is nothing against the person, of course, but there are quite a few other instances where I receive similar messages from people who I would like to remain friends with and continue to respect. I am using these excerpts from this one person as just one example.
6/6/2008The devices I'm referring to are any piece of electronic equipment which can be used for communication purposes. This means, emails, sms, texts, cell phones, pagers, social networks online, etc.
Not only do most people (family, friends, colleagues, business, other organizations) expect you to have one or more of the devices listed above, but you are expected to be constantly accessible. The ways in which these devices have transformed our world is staggering, and not just in the best of ways. Nowadays, if you just want to have your own space and not have to deal with each and every one trying to reach you, people go as far as guilt-tripping you and expecting you to back up your selected unavailability with an excuse. We also have the persistent aggressive people who will not readily accept the fact that you are not taking their call, and then persistently try to repeatedly reach you through the means of one or more of these electronic leashes.
Our modern day society has unquestionably embraced this unhealthy level of communication as a standard where certain regions are now having to enforce laws to limit using certain communication devices whilst being engaged with certain activities. The concept of 'privacy' is barely acknowledged - definitely not quite what it used to be.
Let's not forget what happens if you decide to miss a few calls. You will have a list of missed calls and a pile of voicemail to sift through of people expecting a call back on top of the currently incoming ones. Now I won't try to denounce 'etiquittes' of returning peoples' calls, but yea, aren't the expectations a bit too high here? Don't even try to answer with 'oh, but a 5 minute call wouldn't have hurt' - because you know what? You take that and multiply it by all the people who will try to connect to you - and suddenly, there is an endless cue of '5 minute calls' Should someone really become so offended if someone forgot to ring you back from time to time? Does that really have to be necessarily interpreted as you or your time not being as valuable?
The domineering factor of these excessively used noxious devices is overwhelming considering the phenomenal level of expectancy for one to be available. People are failing to realize that just because someone has one or more ways to be reached, it DOES NOT oblige one to have to respond to each and every incoming piece of correspondence.
Here are a few excerpts from one person's attempts in the last month. This persons happens to be a nice guy friend, too. It is nothing against the person, of course, but there are quite a few other instances where I receive similar messages from people who I would like to remain friends with and continue to respect. I am using these excerpts from this one person as just one example.
XXXX - if you dont hear from me again.. then assume that i'm dead.. lol.. cuz i think i'm pretty close to that :)
XXXX - but yes, it was really nice having you as a friend..
6/11/2008
XXXX - hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
XXXX - if you don't speak now
XXXX - then i will never speak to you again
6/16/2008
XXXX - gauri, i have been trying ot talk to you for weeks, where are you?
6/18/2008
XXXX - are you there?
XXXX - gauri?
XXXX ugh, no1 talks to me anymore..
XXXX lol
6/21/2008
XXXX - hi
XXXX - :S
XXXX - what did i do that you never reply to me...?
6/23/2008
XXXX - i'mma buzz you tonite, untill you reply...
XXXX - seriously... what did i do that you dont reply to me anymore.......................
XXXX - hi
XXXX - everyone is ignoring me.. ugh
XXXX - what do i need to do.. to get your attention.. i used to like the old you... like 3 years ago.. you didnt know alot of ppl and i used to get your attention... n i used to like it alot :(
7/1/2008
XXXX - dude, what is wrong with you?
XXXX - :'(
XXXX - gauri?
XXXX - :'(
If I had a nickle for each time people have been offended at my not taking to their calls or replying to their messages then I would be considerably richer, and if ignoring certain people from time to time is what I have to do to regain my privacy and risk myself being labeled as being uncommunicative or a flake or bad friend or a bitch, then so be it.
Being online, having my cell phone turned on, being signed into any messenger service, being on any kind of a social network, or having email does not oblige me to have to respond to every piece of correspondence. If someone doesn't get the hint and tries to be more aggressive in their attempts to contact me - then just be prepared to wait a bit longer than you normally would have to. My privacy, my alonetime and peace of mind will always take priority over the risk of anyone else being offended. I also probably won't be giving a 'heads up' because you know what that would require? It would require me to utilize the very electronic leashes that I'm trying to not utilize as frequently - save a few urgent matters.
I've come to realize that the frequency of my hermiting moments are largely related to how frequently some people try to reach me and expect an immediate response back. Don't try to guilt trip me to manipulate me, because clearly emotional blackmailing doesn't work. It does not make me any less of a 'good friend' and it doesn't mean that I do not value people. Of course I value people - but it does not mean that I will oblige myself to cater to unrealistic expectations thrust upon me nor the gross attempts to misuse the fact that you have means of accessing me. If I have given you access to any form of means of contacting me - then I have done that under the impression that I can trust you to use it wisely. So please respect my space just as I would respect yours, and do not prove me wrong by attempting to misuse these electronic devices as leashes.
1 comment:
hi gauri i liked ur ideas about the green earth n just wanna say our work for our mother earth will not go vain. its great that people like r not few but still we r in minority n awareness we creat will fetchus victory
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